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    Accepting What Is: Lessons from a Gecko

    December 15, 2018 by ProfK 9 Comments

    gecko art in utah

    Recently, I learned many lessons from a gecko. I have loved them ever since first setting eyes on them in the 1980s. I was visiting my mother and father in their Florida home. We were sitting at the pool, and a gecko started to climb up the leg of my chair. He quickly realized that a human was in the chair (me), and froze. Then, he turned his head from one side to the other, tilted his head upward, and then made his getaway to a “safe” location. I was enamored.

    In describing the initial gecko greeting to family and friends, I imitated his head movements and received a lot of laughs. Their reaction encouraged me to perfect my gestures. Over the years, I added other animals to my repertoire (Swiss cows and dolphins, to name a couple), but it was the gecko that always garnered the most enthusiastic reactions.

    The Beginning of a Gecko Relationship

    I’m telling you this so you’ll understand that I have a history of sorts with geckos. But, I never had any kind of relationship with them until I moved to Florida this year. There are millions of them here and a million things to learn. You see them everywhere. They move quickly, bustling about with great urgency. There are many different kinds of geckos: most are non-native (the only native is the Florida reef gecko), large and small, patterned and plain, green and brown. Some are not even called geckos, but are known as anoles, skinks, and lizards. Some run on their 2 hind legs, some drop out of trees, and some come running inside your home.

    One morning, we discovered a gecko on the outside of our front door. As we opened the door, he leaped from it to the foyer closet. I was foraging in the closet several days later when I saw a swift movement out of the corner of my eye. Cautiously, I looked around and found him on the wall, not a muscle moving except for a puffing in and out of his jowels. “A gecko!” I shrieked as I ran up the stairs toward Peggy.

    “He’s more scared of you than you are of him,” she reassured me.

    “I’m not convinced,” I retorted.

    ceramic gecko

    We had heard that geckos often die if they stay indoors, so we tried many things to encourage his departure. Leave the front door open. Put a wet towel inside a box. Put food inside a box. Gecko lesson number 1: nothing did the trick.

    The Gecko Stays

    Days turned into weeks. He clearly had taken up residence inside the closet, so we gave him a name: Tommy Bahama. He was now our neighbor. I became concerned about Tommy’s health, wondering how he was surviving inside for this long. What was he eating? Where was his source of water? Was he going to die in the closet?

    My concern changed to fear whenever I saw him. One night, during my routine check of the front door to make sure it was locked, I saw him on the foyer floor. He scurried back inside the closet. This marked the beginning of a pattern and another gecko lesson I learned: Tommy stayed in the closet during the day, and explored the foyer at night. Turning on the light seemed to scare him back to his hiding place.

    I became worried about his increased bravery and travels. Was he going to come upstairs and crawl on me while I was sleeping? Would he go to the kitchen and eat the fruit we left in the bowls? What about pooping: where was he doing that?! What if he started crawling on the walls or the ceiling?

    I was filled with anxiety with the mere thought of seeing him. Yet, I would also get sad thinking he might die. There didn’t seem to be anything I could DO about it.

    beaded gecko

    The Important Lesson

    Gradually, I began to see the crux of the issue: it had become a problem I wanted to solve. This was a big lesson the gecko taught me. Perhaps I should let the situation just BE what it was, accept what is, and relieve myself from the anxiousness. This new approach helped ease my mind. Sightings of Tommy ebbed.

    In fact, we didn’t see Tommy for a couple of weeks. Then he returned. With a vengeance. Every night, I’d see him. I became super attuned to any changes in the foyer:

    “OMG, I see Tommy’s tail…. He’s underneath the bench!”

    “Ayyyyy! Tommy’s on the ceiling. He crawled into the light fixture!”

    I thought he would get lost in the ceiling. There’s a lot to confuse you Inside a ceiling, right? Wires, plumbing, ducts… I reminded myself to accept what is and all was well for another few days.

    Finally, Tommy re-appeared. It was 1 a.m., and I was checking the door before going to bed. Peggy was already half asleep. Tommy was on the foyer ceiling again, only this time he was close to the 2nd floor. I panicked. “Peggyyyyyyyy! Tommy’s back and he’s almost in the kitchen!”

    She bolted down the front stairs, grabbed a broom, and opened the front door. I grabbed the floor mop and “guarded” the kitchen. Peggy strategically positioned herself on the stairs so that she could gently “guide” Tommy towards the door with the broom. When he was on the same wall as the door, she brushed him downward towards the door. He literally flew outside!

    fabric art

    Peggy closed the door. “He’s gone! Yay! He’s returning to his family and friends!”

    I was astounded at her feat. What she did was a true act of love. “You are my hero! I am so grateful, thank you!”

    We think of Tommy often. But, now it’s with fondness. We know he’s in a better place. It’s inevitable that another gecko will, someday, make its way inside our home. I wonder if I’ll react with acceptance, anxiety, or the same combination of both. My ongoing lesson from a gecko may be letting go of worry.

     

    Gecko Resources

    Gecko Facts: Lesson for Kids

    Gravity-Defying Geckos Teach Scientists a Lesson

    Related Posts

    Welcome to Florida: Acclimating

    Shedding

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    Louise: Boston 1944 (In Memory of My Mother)

    Filling the Blank Canvas

    The Blank Page

    Filed Under: Process Tagged With: accepting what is, geckos, let it go, self-discovery

    Reader Interactions

    Comments

    1. Peggy Kornegger says

      January 12, 2019 at 5:35 pm

      This is just wonderful–I love it! My favorite of all your blogs!

    2. ProfK says

      January 12, 2019 at 6:05 pm

      Oh my, what a reaction! Thank you!

    3. Lisa Devlin says

      January 12, 2019 at 6:09 pm

      I love this story!

    4. Smiling Lynn says

      January 13, 2019 at 6:46 pm

      Ah, yes, slithering Florida.

      One time I entered the family room of my mother’s house. I was startled when a long skink stood up on its hind legs and stared at me. It had a blue tail and seemed to be quite long!
      I’ve never seen another one since and I am relieved!

    5. ProfK says

      January 15, 2019 at 2:36 am

      Hi Lynn, I think I’ve seen those skinks. They are pretty large and run on their hind legs! Incredible creatures! I can’t imagine seeing one of those inside the house, OMG! Our gecko, Tommy, was maybe 5″ long, big enough for me! 🙂

    6. Iris B. says

      January 19, 2019 at 12:57 am

      I love the gecko story. It should either be a video with you, gecko, and Peg, or a short story, or children’s story. Sweet and funny, a lesson in being with nature and animals. I love picturing your hero with a broom.

    7. fakaza2018 says

      May 5, 2019 at 7:23 am

      It should either be a video with you, gecko, and Peg, or a short story, or children’s story.

    8. Joyce says

      February 25, 2020 at 7:27 pm

      I love your story. But as for me I’m so scared of them. There are two of them in my house and they give me sleepless nights. Personally I’m scared of all animals (except human beings); geckos, lizards and snakes scare me to death. I don’t know how to deal with this fear😩

    9. ProfK says

      February 28, 2020 at 1:01 am

      Hi Joyce, we all have fears. As a city girl, I’m not totally comfortable with certain animals. Maybe reading about the creatures that scare you will help you feel less fearful of them. I’m sorry I don’t have THE answer! All I can do is share my story and what worked for me, and send you encouragement. You can do this!

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